Grubby Old Men

IMG_1657Why does the world look at some grubby old men performing child molestation as paedophiles? It happens even with normal human beings and right in our own backyard and still we do not consider it worthwhile to punish these unseen perpetrators?
You may wonder who these people are. The ones who marry younger and younger girls in all these countries. Some call it child marriage which is supposedly punishable by law, yet it happens. Multiple wives is a norm in certain nations. Every wife these fiends bring home is younger than the previous one. Having aged well and well versed in the art of sexual abuse, these so “distinguished” old dicks are willing to pay the price for a bride.
Now for our story.
My mother was married to this old guy. Old enough to be her father, at a very young age. She had to go through the ignominy of facing this old man and becoming his slave throughout her life. Hardly had she walked out of her convent, that she was tied to the bondage-strings of my father. I hate calling him that, since I knew the pain my mother went through. Imagine going through defloration process without any guidance or knowledge from anyone. The other smirking females made it out as something very enjoyable and an everlasting bliss. But ask a 14 year old how does it feel to be laid out as a piece of sacrificial lamb to a grown up man? It’s very humiliating and scarring experience.
If you ask her how does it feel to be literally raped on the wedding night, she shuts up. You have insulted her. Her husband is the closest thing to god, she thinks! You are out to create a disruption in her marital bliss. She has never ever given any such indication, she will say it emphatically. The belief systems across these countries tells you that the woman doesn’t have any say in any of these marital matters. She is herded towards her god, who abuses her right from the wedding night till either dies.
Bearing multiple children, her life is only full of service to her husband, who is the master of the house and her slave driver. Then comes the family she is married of to. Then her children and later her own parents. The hierarchy is clearly laid out.
Having borne this atrocities, I was also asked to get ready for my betrothal sooner than I had expected. But having got a lot of push and encouragement from my own mother, I revolted. I took up cudgels and fought tooth and nail with my relatives. Especially my grandfather and my father.
I walked out an independent woman from their house when I went for higher studies to the USA.
I have not returned back thereafter. Except, during my vacations, which I usually avoided! I continue to stay in White Plains in NY.
Someday I would like to return to my homeland and get my mother out from there. Till then I can just hope that she dies instead of going through living hell. My father doesn’t speak to me, nor gets on to skype or gtalk whenever I connect back to her. He believes that I have broken the family traditions and brought our family name to ruins.
I have just given you’ll a tiny glimpse into the world of atrocities heaped on a woman. Someday I will tell you lot more. Till then please tune in and give me company.

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Why Is Life So Unfair?

IMG_4534Why is life so unfair?
He expects me to pick up our twins from school even today. I had too many things on hand and I requested him to help out a little and still he says that he cannot get out of the commitment he has to his clients.
You can imagine that in the entire school year, he had picked up the kids only three times. That too, since I had to go to Miami for my annual conference.
I still remember the time I was carrying the twins and lugging my heavy laptop and a big bag from work. I met him near the lift and requested him to just carry it till we entered our house and his reaction was very pathetic. He told me that I am a modern woman and that today women have become independent and self sufficient so they should carry their own stuff.
I wanted to repartee that. Telling him that I was carrying his kids in the womb too. Where was he even taking charge of that? But then I shut up. What use is it talking to someone who doesn’t even have the decency of picking up the little stuff that I requested for. Such an asshole!
The trouble we women go through just bearing the kids cannot be compared to anything in this world. Can he take out a single comparison from his side. The daily uneasiness and discomfort we all go through having kids is unbelievable.
We loose our body shape, our appetites, our ability to do so many worldly things. To get into the driving seat itself is such a pain. The amount of healthy foods that we stuff ourselves is too sinful. All for the kids which the man doesn’t feel even a little remorse or attachment to.
Why would we love to go through this torture alone? All for the love of kids? It’s a big sacrifice and our entire life comes on line.
You never think of these things when you are getting married. You believe you are living a dream and at the end all will be well. You have a family and kids in it. You want to feel complete.
But here, you are left holding the babies all your life. Now you may say, that’s your duty as a mother and you owe it to the kids. But I would like to ask, is it only mine alone? Doesn’t the man also have to account for it? No doubt, motherly love and all that sentimental things we go through is purely a blackmail only for the woman. The man goes scot free.
I do love my twins a lot. Not that I want them to feel devoid of any love. But the man doesn’t feel even an iota of love.
Strangely he asked me just after I had delivered when he could have sex again. I felt completely disgusted with his behavior.
I am sorry I had to have my say so I did it. I feel a little light now. But then I don’t know how soon I will reach the end of my tether.
The only closing thoughts I have is my kids should not suffer just because of one utterly incompetent parent.
You know I have got a lot of advice from all the kind folks out there. But I am sure, you too have something to tell me what I should be doing? Do write back and guide me. Truthfully, I have no clue at this point in time except that I love my twins more than anything in this world. I don’t want them to live without a father figure in life. Do advise!

What Do Women Want?

What do women want? A woman has often been asked this question- what is it that women really want in life?
The answer has been the same all along- We don’t know what we want!
But ask yourself, if that is the truth?Woman
The truth is not so easy to know or understand. It cannot be told in a one line answer.
We women have too many wants and desires. They stem from the fact that we have been deprived all our life, right from birth. So naturally, our list of desirous things are really to long.
Let us begin at childhood. We are the most unwanted creatures in the world. Take the case of child mortality and forced abortions in some countries. So we feel completely unwanted from birth.
Later, as we begin our childhood, we are forced into toys and clothes which are so stereotyped. Every girl is supposed to wear pink and soft tones. Even if we love garish colors, we are told that girls love pink! The toys too are so girlish. Why can we not have guns and builder blocks? Why dolls and makeup kits? Do you get it? We want to climb trees, play rugby, football and break toys just like everyone else! But, we are told we cannot do that. It’s not proper!
Growing up is extremely difficult too. Everyone looks at the growing assets and make us feel as if we are some alien creatures. Why can Ma not see that she too has the same? But the precautions that we have to take are a big list. You can’t do this and you can’t do that. Why do we have to grow our hair? They are the crowning glory of the girls? You have to shampoo them, dry them, color and do whatnot. The boys need not do anything at all. Those guys just run their fingers through their hair and they are fine.
In school too, the requirements are too many. Subjects that can be taken by the boys are supposedly taboo for girls. They have different games and we have to support these guys. Imagine shaking our asses while they are gloriously kicking goals. We are show pieces even for the folks in the stands. With our colored pom poms we are supposed to wear clothes which reveal more than ever. On one side we are told not to wear too revealing clothes and on the other we have to show our skins. Even though the dean is a woman but she believes that we are the delicate types and should be handled with care.
At home too, our dates are a bigger concern of the entire family. Why is it a family affair and not our own? Why are we under a microscope in every little thing? Why can we not have our own rooms instead of accommodating every other person in our rooms? The boys needn’t do that?
Even the summer jobs that we are told to do are the most mundane and crassest. We want to go for trekking and mountain climbing. Rappelling and whitewater rafting are such wonderful activities, but we are cautioned and told what we have to be careful with. A simple action like cycling too is full of rules and regulations.
So in conclusion I just want to tell you how confined and cloistered our lives are. We need to become more forthcoming and showing the people around what we really do care for. It’s not right to keep silent and listen to the worlds do and don’t lists. We should be free to choose and decide for ourselves. Even if it means that we might fall down or hurt ourselves.
Does it really matter? Can we not be allowed to rise to our own desires and needs rather they being thrust down our throats. Think about it ladies! Let’s give this world a run for their money.